I have been warned by my good friend against public blood letting on the internet, so I will do the best I can to refrain from direct criticism of anyone or any organization here. However, I must admit I feel a bit slighted in this whole deal. There is a lot of talk in war about honor and duty, but those concepts are hard to find in anything other than individuals and their personal actions. These soldiers here are doing incredible things and making sacrifices that I cannot begin to understand. We surround these men and women with organizations and individuals who are driven only by dollar signs yet use patriotism and honor as tools to insulate and enhance their power. I have been an integral part of this system and contributed willingly to propagating it; for that I am ashamed. I am still far too close to these events to draw useful information from it. I will, in the coming months, try to draw out the lessons I have learned here and use them in a positive way.
I compare myself to Bob Cratchet some days. It is a bit of a stretch, I know, but short of the honor Dickens attributed to his character, I feel we have our parallels. Particularly, I think about Christmas dinner at the Cratchet house, when Bob offers a toast to Mr. Scrooge. There are two forces at play here, and we need to be careful about being overly judgmental about either. On one side there is the force of money and how that is by definition not "free." We are not entitled to any job or the benefits that come with that job. We need to be thankful that someone is willing to pay us for our time and effort; we need to realize that we have agreed to do this and that agreement does not entitle us but rather obligates us. The other side of that force is control and abuse of power. It is why so many cultures denounce the existence of slavery and prostitution; these are abuses of money and power that go beyond what is humane. Now I am not claiming to have been treated inhumanely but, I do feel a bit like I have prostituted myself. I am not sure if I have violated my own morale compass or not. If I have, then I sold it pretty cheaply.
Moving on from this world I look forward to change. I have heard on occasion and often thought of using your morales to find a career. I have to do some soul searching now to find out what my skills and limitations are and then to seek out a new career where I can feel as if I am positively contributing to society, instead of contributing to its downward spiral. Mostly, I look forward to my girls; seeing them both in the morning and before we all go to bed. I want to show Rosie that we can make choices in our life that benefit us all. And, in doing so we do not sacrifice but rather enhance ourselves.
I hope to spend some time in future posts talking about this war and the lessons I have learned. This is the end now of the roller coaster year but I plan to try to contribute to this blog and transform it into a personal homefront log. I appreciate all of you and your comments, they have been helpful through out the year. I now have a reader base and invite you all to keep reading to learn of new happenings with Rosie, Erin and myself. This will not be exciting, I am sure, but neither has this last year, really. I will probably rant about some of the politics of the last year so if you are interested in that keep on reading. You know what you are in for. I would also like to encourage you all to start your own blogs so we can banter back and forth and share our ideas and lives. I would also like to encourage my fearless brother Archie to re-start his blog, so I can continue to be inspired and captivated by his ideas, please?
So for now, good-bye and I will hopefully see you all soon,
Cliff
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
You've become quite the philosopher. I believe most of us understood your choice was to secure your family and that took great sacrifice on both your and Erin' part. I respect that and doubt I would have taken such a difficult step. But isn't it freeing (in a way) to now look at your life and choose a direction when many of us have just plotted along and tried to make the most of the moment. It is a great opportunity/ Your future really is bright.
Welcome home!
MoMster
Yes, the financial freedom has not sunk in yet, because I have not had to pay any bills in over a year. When I get back into the home rhythm I imagine it will be liberating to make decision based on what I want to do without being so constrained by the financial obligations of providing for a family. By the way I never thought of you as a plodder.
I am looking forward to seeing you, and also looking forward to hearing some of your thoughts about this experience, once you've had the chance to put some distance between yourself and the "experience."
I am happy to see that you are well aware of how amazing the women in your life are! I am certain that I could not have weathered this past year as well as Erin has (nor as well as you have.) And as for your mother, I would just like to say that that I have admired her and been inspired by her for my entire life.
Enjoy your time together in Japan, and we will see you in July! Now you go out and buy another coal scuttle! And you do it before you dot another "i," Bob Cratchett!
Love,
Kristin
Post a Comment