Here's a funny joke for you

If you ever find yourself in a foreign environment where nothing seems exactly right and you miss mostly everything, here is a joke for you:
Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? You don't have to cry about it. End of discussion.
Let me tell you, it may be the funniest joke you have ever heard in that circumstance. It is certainly in my top two. (Some of you may know the other but I can't tell you if you don't, so don't ask.)
I recently received this joke in a box of cookies from Grandma Sharon. The cookies were awesome but I will never forget that joke as long as I live. It made me laugh until tears welled in my eyes, and then again repeatedly through the day as I insisted anyone who eat a cookie read the joke. It can't be told again with the same effectiveness that Abby delivered it to me, but try it sometime when things get a little strange and uncomfortable, it's really funny and strangely fitting. Thank you Abby, you have brightened my world!
In this strange world: the heat is getting unbearable. 120 degrees F is what the thermometer reads but that does not tell the whole story. Apparently the world record is 136 F. Someone measured the surface of the aircraft at 150 F. You literally cannot touch the aircraft, even items in the shade can come close to untouchable. You need a pair of gloves to do anything in the sun. The aircraft air conditioning systems are failing all of the time; it is our number one maintenance issue. Our crew is among the few that actually work during the day, everyone else quits precisely when my shift begins. After spend just a few hours in the heat and sun my body becomes drained of all ambition and free energy. Everything is concentrated on the next task at hand, a very inefficient way to work. It is hell on morale. It will only get hotter for the next month, then I am hoping, it will slowly cool.
In a very strange event, it actually rained. No monsoon, but it did rain. No one cared to move out of the rain or close any doors or windows, it was here and gone. There was enough to wet the pavement in little polka dots, and then it dried up and the sun returned to its scorching heat. It was quite beautiful, while it lasted.
Well, it is time for bed, goodnight all. Soon, I'll talk a little about food. Doesn't that sound exciting? 'Till then,
Love you all and see you soon.
Cliff

A new BIKE!

Alright, I am in a better mood today. I am tired though so I won't keep you long. I bought a bike yesterday and had opportunity to ride it today. It was great! I rode it on the flight line and it worked swell. It is a real piece o' pooh, but it does what I need it to do. It's a Huffy, ooooh! It has dual suspension, so the ride is really smooth, even on the rough terrain around here. The shifting is not so great, but it only cost me $80, not bad. It had three advantages: I don't ride around everywhere, allowing for more exercise, it gives me more freedom to go where I want when I want, and it is fun to ride at work, making my day go by a lot better. The only thing I would like is a back rack and a bottle holder. I am not sure either would fit but I can rig something up, I'm sure. I am confident I look like a big dork out there but, hey, this place is not a cool contest, not that I could ever win one anywhere. But I do think people around here are starting to detect that I read a little high on the Dork-o-Meter. I got more than a few comments on my garden yesterday. I planted some seeds in one of the "Hescos" (protective barriers filled with dirt) yesterday and got a lot of people shaking their heads in my general direction.
Anyway, I promised to make this short and I have already ranted for some time. Just a note for anyone sending a letter or package: Thanks and send along some photos. Photos of anything really, just tell me what it is of so I know when I see it. I have a lot of blank space around that I would like to fill with pictures of you and your favorite things to help me remember nicer places. Thanks again and I'll see you soon,
Cliff

Sorry, no real content.

Well, I am running out of things to write about. Life is slipping into the mundane. My day starts seeming like it will be so long before it ends, then it goes on. Time passes and lunch (8:00pm meal) comes then just a hop skip and a jump to quitting time. The next day begins and it still seems like forever to the end of the week, but then this too passes. Yadda, yadda, yadda, here I am again at Sunday. Three weeks down and forty nine to go. Like I said before, time isn't moving fast it just goes unremembered for anything significant. Maybe I will make an entry tomorrow, this is going nowhere. I'll talk to you soon,
Cliff

More photos

Here are some photos of my work place. What you can't see is the unreal heat and the coating of fine sand.

Photos from GA

Hi again,
I finally have the opportunity to share some photos. Here are some photos of Gary and Te's place in Georgia. Thanks again, Gary, Te and Dufuss!

Ahhh, time to relax

Again, Sunday, my day off. Things are looking up here. I have internet in my room. It is a huge relief. Before, I was only able to check email and surf on my day off, unless I was willing to skip one of my two meals or shrink my sleep schedule by an hour. Getting anywhere is a major chore. The base is pretty spread out and I am limited to the three company vehicles which are shared by the 15, or so, current employees here. That number is expected to grow soon. Anyway, that is alleviated for me now that I can communicate from my little hovel in the sand.
So, what would you like to hear about today: work, food, people? Well, let's talk a little about work. It is hampered, as is everything, by the heat. And, like an idiot, I volunteered for the hottest shift, 13:00 to 24:00. I did so because I knew of the guy who is the lead and he comes recommended, and I had no idea about anything else really. As it turns out, he is a great guy to work for so that worked out well. But the night shift really has it a lot better. It is so comfortable after 8 pm (not sure how much to fill you all with the jargon that we live in, so I apologize if I get carried away with the acronyms and the military time). Last night I was cool walking to and from the shower at midnight or so. I am not saying it was cool, just that compared to 120, 85-90 feels so good.
Back to work, I am doing a lot of the same stuff I did at home. But, with 8 aircraft instead of 3, the workload is a bit heavier. I worked "the line" for the first time the other day. Which basically means you stand in the sun all day fueling aircraft, changing light bulbs, doing daily inspections, and stand around while turbine engines spool up and idle on the ramp before takeoff. A pretty grueling day all in all. And it gets quite confusing with who is coming and who is going and who is broke and who needs the 327 light bulb and who needs the 22 light bulb. Are you getting the picture? Monotonous work in intense heat.
Other days, are good if you can get a nice big project to concentrate on. You move an aircraft out of the sun and wrench away. Before you know it you day is half gone, and if your lucky, you can be proud of a job well done. The tough days are ones where you have neither of the previous jobs and you have to struggle to find piddly things to do all day. That is when time crawls.
The good news is, Sunday crept up on me out of nowhere. The idea that time goes fast or slow doesn't mean much to me. But the memory of it does have speed. I was told by someone who had done this sort of thing before I left that it is like you just lose a year. I can see it happening already. I hate to think of that, because time is so precious, I am trying to find ways to increase the value of my time, personally. But, either way I will be home soon.
Thanks to everyone who responded to my ridiculous rants here. It is great to have so many comments, they each mean so much. The voices from home keep my perspective from closing in on this place. To Michelle, I think of you often, here. Your experience helps me keep mine in perspective, thanks.
Today as I said is Sunday, and there is no mail. The guy who went to pick up mail yesterday had just gotten back from leave and didn't know me, so I missed two packages that were waiting for me. But I will be there for mail call tomorrow, believe me. As far as things you can send, I don't need silly string or baby wipes. My needs are all taken care of here. Music and movies and entertainment stuff are cool. Anything is great, we will see if cookies and suck work with the heat. You didn't hear this from me but I hear they don't check our mail too close for contraband, but I am not sure beer travels that well, anyway.
Well, I have clearly gone on too long, sorry. I miss you all incredibly. Pictures of you pop into my head from time to time and make me smile into the dusty sky. I look forward to seeing you all soon,
Clifford

Working, finally (sorry this is a bit jumbled, so much to say)

I have to apologize for taking so long to update you all, but time is short now. Currently I am working, finally, and that takes such a large portion of my time that it leaves little room for correspondence. We are working 10 hour days plus an hour for lunch and an hour for breakfast, half an hour for commuting, and the same to clean the days dust from my body sounds like it leaves 11 hours of down time but it just doesn't happen that way. We live quite a ways from any communication area, and I am still relying on the government systems for all of my communication. I am told that within a week we should have our internet connected to our rooms which will be awesome. Until then I am limited to half hour slots on a laptop in a KBR run facility for the soldiers and us.
Everything here is crazy so it's hard to know where to begin describing it. I'll start with the weather. It usually gets close to 120 F during the day and maybe down to 90 F at night, maybe a bit cooler. Dust is everywhere. Yesterday, there was no flying because of the dust cloud that surrounded us. You can still see the sun but in the morning it rises through the cloud as a yellow orb until about 9 when it turns into a blistering hot that you do everything to avoid. I have had a headache everyday I have been here. I am not sure if it is the heat, sun, hydration related, or that I gave up coffee out of inconvenience. I drink a lot of water. KBR runs a water plant and everywhere you go there are pallets of water and refrigerators full of it. I was allowed to pick my shift and I chose a mid shift, from 1300 to midnight. I though I would get away from the heat for part of the day and not mess up my clock completely. The heat is inescapable, though. The dust covers everything outside and most everything inside. It dries out my nose and will make me cough on the bad days. I keep on asking, "Who lives in this place?" To which my roommate, Mike, answers, "You do." I cannot believe that people would choose to live in an environment so hostile.
Well, I should get back to see if anyone wants to grab dinner. Today is my day off and I commandeered one of the company vehicles to chat with you all. I hope you are all well and I look forward to seeing you soon,
Cliff

But its's too hot to (insert any activity)

When we got to Kuwait around 10 pm yesterday it was 110 F. I have no idea what it is now but oh my god! When we were landing last night the moon was on the horizon and it was veiled in clouds. I thought to myself, "That's funny, I didn't think there were any clouds here." In the morning I realized it was the cloud of dust that is perpetually suspended around here. This is one nasty place.
The flight was a total SNAFU. We were sent to the airport when they knew it was delayed. The delay turned into about 12 hours when they shipped us back to the CRC site and we got 5 hours of sleep and up to do it all again. They again delayed the flight about 10 hours. We left Georgia around 7 pm Saturday. I forget if I mentioned that we volunteered for baggage duty. The idea was that if you schlepp the bags you could sit in first class with the ranking officers. Well, busted our buts in some nasty heat. First setting out the bags, then onto the truck, then onto the aircraft. It was hard work because of the intense heat and humidity. Then it turns out there was no firs or business class on the plane. It was worth it however, as it kept me busy and the workout helped me sleep on the airplane, which is hard for me. As a special treat they let us unload the bags onto the trucks in Kuwait and then off of the trucks at the base, yeah. We did get to have an open seat between us on the aircraft, which was nice but not what I was hoping for.
We are sleeping (all 3 hours of it) in tents for about 16 people. I am not sure how many of them there are here but it is at least 100. This base is used as a depot for troops coming out and going into Iraq and I believe even Afghanistan. Everything is tents. The facilities are nice enough but that doesn't translate to comfort. We are waiting on transport to our destination, COB Speicher. Our first shot is on an airplane leaving this evening. We are given seats based on a priority system that I don't understand. We tried to get our aircraft to comedown and give us a lift but have been unsuccessful in contacting anyone. So for now, we wait.
When I say we I mean the guys from Dyncorp who went through the CRC process with me. There are 5 of us going to Speicher and there were 2 who went on to Balad, the other mission in country. The Balad mission has the unmodified C12s that I work on at home. Many of the pilots that I work with at home have rotated through on that mission.
It is 4:30 am at home, that's -8 hours from here. My time is limited until I can find the flight status, after that I will either be on the run or sitting for another 24 hours. So I may have time the or not for a few days.
Until then,
See you all soon,
Cliff